Being in-love is temporary
Even though the idea of a long-term relationship and marriage might seem a long way off, one day it will probably be an important step in your life. Therefore, it’s important that you know that deep, long-term, intentional love is not the same as that initial burst of romantic love.
Most of us think the giddy state of romance will last forever. But soon we realise the other person isn’t everything we imagined or wanted them to be…and nor should they be. Nobody is perfect, and it is unhealthy to maintain the illusion that they are.
Dr Scott Peck taught this truth in several of his books. He was a psychiatrist and author famous for writing The Road Less Travelled. He said that the ‘in love’ experience cannot be considered to be truly ‘real’ because it is not an act of the will. It seems to just magically happen!
Long-term and intentional love, however, encourages us to do the hard work of growing ourselves, our partner and the relationship. In previous Smart Ways we talked about recognising Love Languages, a tool that helps deepen love and appreciation. It’s worth revisiting these chapters now.
Understand more about long-term love and the pitfalls of engaging in repeated short-term relationships in Smart Way #37 of Making It on My Own; 52 Smart Ways to Smash It in the Real World.